Our Love/Hate Relationship With Texting

Everyone's doing it. Spelling does count, and there are hundreds of abbreviations. There are common ones like LOL (laughing my ass off), or TTYL (talk to you later). The stupid ones like ROFLMAO really annoy me. Is anyone really rolling on the floor laughing their ass off?? I mean really. How about *$ (Starbucks) or TAP (take a pill) or WDT (who does that)?

Top 50 Most Popular Text Terms:

2moro - Tomorrow

2nite - Tonight

BRB - Be Right Back

BTW - By The Way

B4N - Bye For Now

BCNU - Be Seeing You

BFF - Best Friends Forever

CYA - Cover Your Ass -or- See Ya

DBEYR - Don't Believe Everything You Read

DILLIGAS - Do I Look Like I Give A Sh**

FUD - Fear, Uncertainty, and Disinformation

FWIW - For What It's Worth

GR8 - Great

ILY - I Love You

IMHO - In My Humble Opinion

IRL - In Real Life

ISO - In Search Of

J/K - Just Kidding

L8R - Later

LMAO - Laughing My Ass Off

LOL - Laughing Out Loud -or- Lots of Love

LYLAS - Love You Like A Sister

MHOTY - My Hat's Off To You

NIMBY - Not In My Back Yard

NP - No Problem -or- Nosy Parents

NUB - New person to a site or game

OIC - Oh, I See

OMG - Oh My God

OT - Off Topic

POV - Point Of View

RBTL - Read Between The Lines

ROTFLMAO - Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off

RT - Real Time

THX or TX or THKS - Thanks

SH - Sh** Happens
SITD - Still In The Dark
SOL - Sh** Out of Luck
STBY - Sucks To Be You
SWAK - Sealed (or Sent) With A Kiss
TFH - Thread From Hell
RTM or RTFM - Read The Manual -or- Read The F***ing Manual
TLC - Tender Loving Care
TMI - Too Much Information
TTYL - Talk To You Later -or- Type To You Later
TYVM - Thank You Very Much
VBG - Very Big Grin
WEG - Wicked Evil Grin
WTF - What The F***
WYWH - Wish You Were Here
XOXO - Hugs and Kisses

Have you ever used most of those? I haven't, and I text everyday. I'm sure your teenage son or daughter uses dozens more abbreviations that you have no clue about, and that's the whole point. There's even PBB which incase you didn't know means parents behind back!! Text messaging has become more prominent than actually talking to the person you're trying to communicate with. Weighing both sides of our relationship with texting.....

Haters say:

1. The frustration of sarcasm, humor and intent getting left in the black hole of text interpretation.

2. If you aren't up on your text abbreviations, you sometimes feel like a moron.

3. Spelling.....don't sound like a dumbass by forgetting to check your spelling

4. Being misunderstood, or misunderstanding the content of the text can cause textguments, and lead to an actual phone call to explain what you were trying to say in the first place.

5. The dreaded "I never got your text" which sometimes happens when you get a phone call while you're typing a text and it goes to drafts instead of being sent and you think the recipient is being a jerk by not responding!

6. It's addicting

Lovers say:

1. What a savior when you don't want to actually talk to the person you have to communicate with.

2. Waiting room at the doctor's office, at work, or anywhere else that's a no cell phones allowed zone.

3. Easier to communicate with your chatty friend when you only have a minute to let her know what time you're meeting her.

4. Sends a lighter message than a actual phone call (works well for dating)

5. Sextexting has evolved into the newest form of cyber sex.

6. It's addicting

Whichever side you're on, I wonder how the next generation will learn to socially interact. At any bar mitzvah today, 13 year olds are texting to the kids sitting across the room, rather than walking over to actually talk to them!!

Better yet are we going to have to go to text rehab for those that truly can't pull themselves away from their cell phones? Hello my name is Lizzie and I'm a textaholic! (hi Lizzie)

I'll b waiting 4 ur text 2 tell me if ur a luvr or a h8r....

The Message Is In The Dial

I was flattered yesterday when a friend of mine who had just jumped back into the "plenty of fish in the sea" dating scene, called me for some advice.  She was curious about the rules of dating (not that I'm an authority)and asked, "Is it ok for me to contact him? How about just a casual text to say hi, or a facebook comment to a recent post he made?"  Or my favorite, that came from another friend, "he asked me to get him some information(on some unimportant topic that he could easily google) do you think it's too soon to email it to him?"  Nice try, really, but No!

I am pretty sure whether you're a venus or a mars you have asked your friends this question at some point.  My answer depends on who's asking, and how good your is he into me radar is. If you're a guy, as long as you're not a stalker, you are pretty much always expected to do the initiating of the contact. I don't think I've ever heard a guy say "Geez, I really wish she would text/call me more often, she just doesn't do it enough".  Have you? Most guys don't sit around waiting for their phone to ring, bleep, buzz, or chime. That's pretty much a chick thing. Unless of course, the guy has reached out to a woman and he's getting the feeling that she's really not that into him.  As far as my friend goes I gave her the unsolicited sometimes insensitive advice my Dad has always so generously offered.

Don't be too available.  This might sound simple but it's definitely not an easy thing to have the will-power to do. When you're a chick and you've been waiting for a guy to call you for three days or some ridiculous amount of time that his friends busted his balls about waiting, you ARE available. When you finally get the long awaited bleep, chirp, or buzz, better to let it go to voicemail, or just don't respond the second you get it (and no, ten minutes is not enough time).  I'm not into games, and I'd rather just do whatever feels comfortable, wouldn't you?  However, until you really know someone well enough, a lot of men don't respond well to that.  Men have a keen sense of your eagerness (almost psychic) and jumping for the phone isn't the best idea.  Also, make sure you have a life.  What I mean is, do yourself a favor and when he asks you out, please please don't respond with "any night that's good for you works".  

Nobody wants what they can have too easily.  Take this one to heart girls, because it couldn't be more dead on accurate (please refer back as to why you shouldn't contact him).  There would be no butterflies in your stomach and there would be no challenge to get in your pants and there would be no wooing (my personal favorite) if this weren't true. What fun would that be? Everyone likes the chase, whether you're the chaser or the chasee. If there isn't some element of intrigue or uncertainty, he's movin' on (specifically if you've only gone out a couple of times). He doesn't need to know that you had anything waxed today, or that you found the boots you were dying for on sale at the mall. Less detail leaves more room for him to use his imagination.  Trust me, he'd love the opportunity to fantasize that the workout class you told him you went to this morning involved a pole.

Everything in Moderation.  Although when this advice was given to me it referred more to drinking, eating dessert, and living on the edge. It holds true when reflecting back to numbers 1 and 2. In regard to number 1, when I said "get a life" I didn't mean that when you do finally get the bleep, buzz or chirp, the guy has to wait till 3 weeks from tuesday for a date.  No one is that busy, that's just a direct blow off, so find a night within the week or so.  As for number 2, playing hard to get is plain old stupid, but so is telling a guy you've only had a few dates with, that your children would be so cute with his big brown eyes and your curly blonde hair!

Lastly, please don't sit around reading into every voicemail and playing it over and over for your friends asking what they thought, or how his voice sounded.  "Do you think he sounds like he's into me?"  What the heck does a voice of someone that really likes you sound like anyway? Someone please tell me.  Rest assured that it makes no difference what his voicemail or text message said. It makes no difference how many times you torture yourself or your friends by playing it over and over.  The message is in the dial. The fact that he contacted you says it all.  Maybe just maybe he really does like you. (By the way, any guy who doesn't appreciate or respond to a woman who sends a quick little text to say hi is definitely not the kinda guy she's meant to be with.) Just be yourself. The only person that has to like you is you. That's why there are no rules. 

OK, there is one exception.  The one rule that I firmly believe in is........ Nothing good ever comes from a drunken dial.  Don't believe me?  Let me know how that works out for you. 

Yeah, the message is definitely in the dial!

The Real Cougars of Man Jewelry City

Last night while out for some drinks with one of my BFFs, we engaged in a little game we like to call "Profiling". The object of the game is to try and figure out what someone's deal is, just by checking out what they're wearing, whether they came alone or with someone, how they're interacting with the people around them, what they do for a living, what number date they're on, you get the idea.  I highly recommend trying it. It's quite amusing especially after a few sweet tea vodka and lemonades.  No one gets hurt, unless of course you slip and fall on the way to the ladies room, and then a whole new game starts called "bar humiliation". It's the one where your friend makes sure everyone in the place heard about your fall incase they hadn't witnessed it. 

Our game of profiling quickly became more like watching a reality tv show called,                                                                                  "The Real Cougars of Man Jewelry City". 

Lets start with the jeweled men.  Most chicks don't dig it. Trust me, you might like it, but it's not about you. My advice would be unless your wife or girlfriend bought it for you as a gift, just say NO to rings, bracelets, and big gold chains when going out to a bar (fyi, a watch is not considered man jewelry). When you're standing at a bar and you approach a woman, incase you didn't know, she's looking at your shoes and she's doing a man jewelry check. One last bit of advice, if you wear a wedding band, and you've been out in the sun for a while, removing it for a night out with the guys, is always a bad idea. Hello cute buff guy sitting behind me, sorry but I'm talking to you, the white band of skin that was under your wedding band while you've been tanning on the beach all summer was one of the highlights of our amusement. Thanks.  

Another favorite are the cougars.  Although a cougar can be any woman at any age with a much younger man, in this case the cougars were in their 50s. These woman are very fun and always up for a good time.  They dance together after having way too many cocktails and they talk to everyone.  This group of women is divided in half. Some are very hip, in awesome shape and know how to make themselves look fabulous with form-fitting boob bursting tops, short skirts and sexy stiletto heels. Sadly the other half are in desperate need of a hair, makeup and wardrobe makeover or as a male friend questioned, "Do they look into the same mirrors that we do?". Aside from updating your look, my best advice to the cougars is simple. If you aren't sure where your teenage daughter is while you're out on the prowl, don't stand outside the bar talking to your fellow cougars or any hot younger men you might be interested in who aren't exactly sure how old you are. You may blow your cover when your daughter happens to be driving by,rolls down her window and yells at the top of her lungs "Maaaaaaahhhhhhhmmmm, what are you doing?".

It's a 14 carat gold jungle out there, be careful not to blow your cover......