The Present....The Greatest Gift You've Ever Received

Have you ever read a great book and not wanted to finish it? You know when you stall at reading the last three pages so that you hold off on finding out who the murdered was, or who the orphan's Mother was, or who the character behind all those bandages was? We've all done it. We hold the suspense so that we don't get to the end and shut the book. Inevitably we HAVE to read the last few pages, finish the book and start a new one.

We hold on to those last few pages, as if this was the last book we'd ever read. How silly? Of course we're going to read another book. Maybe one that is more exciting, more suspenseful, or one that becomes your new favorite. You may have to read a lot of books in between the one you didn't want to finish and your new found favorite book. I am confident that you will find another, and another and another to satisfy your addiction to the suspense, mystery and excitement of your last favorite book.

Ok, lets be honest, I'm of course using a "BOOK" as a metaphor for anything else in your life that you need to let go of. What are we so afraid of. Something new is always around the corner and if you don't let go of what or who you're holding on to, you never give yourself the chance or the opportunity to be open to anything else.

Take a risk, finish the last three pages of the greatest book you ever read (or at least that's what you think when you're reading it and procrastinating about reading the ending). Quit that dead end job that is making you miserable. Stop procrastinating about something you know you should have done months ago. Start that new project, hobby or passion. Investigate a new opportunity.

Life is short (I know I say this in every blog but it's so scary and so true). Stop wasting time. Stop postponing, or making excuses. Try to learn one new thing every day. Do something you were afraid of or haven't tried before. Take a risk. Conquer a fear. Sky dive, bungee jump, go back to school, or start a business. Volunteer at an old age home or a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen. Appreciate who and what you are. If you're not happy with who or what you are, then do something about it. Improve your life by opening yourself up to new possibilities. Just do one thing, it doesn't even matter what it is, just something different.

Be like Nike and "Just do it"!

Live by one of my favorite quotes that I constantly ask a close friend to recite to me even though after all the times she's said it to me, I know it by heart......

"The Past is History, The Future is a Mystery, Today is a Gift, that's why we call it the Present"

It always makes me smile...........

Need I say more??

:)

When Is Enough Enough?

Please help me understand something......

How come we give people another chance and another and another and another, even when they never cease to disappoint us? Could be a friend, a family member, a husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, a babysitter, a coworker, just about anyone. Are we just programmed to see the good in people and try to ignore the bad? Or is it that we want them to react a certain way or behave a certain way, and when they don't live up to our expectations, we set ourselves up for disappointment? Is it that some people just aren't capable? Do they just not give a damn if they continue to let you down?

Does their hundredth "I'm sorry", or "I didn't mean to upset you" make it okay? I thought actions spoke louder than words. I've let people down before, who hasn't? I'm certainly not proud of it. I never ever do it intentionally and I always whole heartedly apologize and do whatever I can, not to let it happen again. I hate when people are upset with me, and I do whatever it takes to reassure them and hopefully make them feel better. Especially when it's someone that I genuinely care about.

So why do we hold on to relationships that we know are toxic? You know what I mean. The girlfriend that your husband is always telling you to "lose" because she is constantly causing drama. Or the coworker that promises to tell the boss that the project you are working on together was your idea, and ends up taking full credit for your work? Or the guy you're dating that constantly cancels at the last minute, but is always looking for the after dark booty call?

I could go on and on......

Life is too short, too complicated, and hard enough sometimes. You tell yourself over and over "I'm done" but for some reason you allow the same thing to happen over and over. Is this just human nature? Weakness? Stupidity? Why is it so hard to follow through with what we know isn't right for us?

Of course the more you care about someone the more you make allowances for their hopefully unintentional hurtful behavior. Don't you?

Isn't there a better way? Couldn't you find a less "drama" filled friend? Or talk to your boss about your coworker? Or tell the guy who always cancels to lose your number?

When is Enough Enough?

And to my girlfriend who just had her heart trampled on, that fat lady couldn't have sang any louder!

Manners Matter....Don't Be A #$^%& *@#!

Is there a nice way to be completely honest? Can you get your point across without being insulting? The truth is such a valuable commodity, but does it come with such a high price tag that we settle rather than just putting it out there?

When your friend constantly cancels plans with you at the last minute, it's easy to say, "Hey, enough already, every time we make plans you cancel on me at the last minute and it really pisses me off". That's an easy one. I'm confident that your friend will apologize and make an effort not to do it anymore. But what happens when the situation isn't so easily explained? Here's one almost everyone has experience...how about the friend who always orders the lobster when the rest of the group are ordering burgers? How about the wine connoisseur who orders a $200 bottle of wine because he heard how fabulous it was, and doesn't offer to pay for it? My favorite is when you invite a friend to a game, concert or broadway showas your guest, and when the waiter brings over the dinner check your guest doesn't even offer to pay for dinner. Come on people, doesn't anyone have any manners anymore? Doesn't etiquette still apply? Or is ignorance an excuse for poor manners?

I have a very close friend that I relayed a story to about a mutual acquaintance being completely manner-LESS and her response was, "If you don't point out someone's inappropriate, rude, ill-mannered behavior, then you're allowing them to behave this way toward you and it's your own fault." Damn, good for her!!! I wish I could have her big "set" and point out when someone is just plain old "not doing the right thing". But then again who made me the proper police?

What bothers me the most is that we'll all complain to other people about someone's inconsiderate habits but we won't confront the guilty party directly.

My Mom is the reigning queen of proper etiquette. Trust me, she even writes me a thank you note when I send her flowers!! Anyway, here are a few things she taught me, with MUCH more than my two cents thrown in....I'm sure she's gonna love this one...uh oh.

Chapter One: Being a Welcomed Back Guest

"When you are invited to someone's home for cocktails, hors d'oeuvres, a meal, a sleepover, or a party, don't ever show up empty handed." I don't care how cheap you are. There better be something in your hand when the host opens the door to let you in. Show your host that you appreciate their invitation and that you want to be invited back! Any token is appropriate (a bottle of wine, flowers, candy, a dessert....something....ok fine, a six pack if that's the best you can do!).

"Be a gracious guest." What exactly does that mean? Get off your lazy, full from a great meal ASS and help clear the table!

Don't be a five year old. If your host is serving something you don't enjoy eating, it's always better to behave with some sense of maturity. "Yuck, I hate _____" is what five year olds say. Keep that in mind.

Don't ask for leftovers unless your host offers. It's not a compliment to the chef it's you looking like a cheese ball. Oh, and a pig.

Chapter Two: Table Manners

Your napkin is waiting for you to put it on your lap. It feels most comfortable there.

Chewing with your mouth closed is appreciated, as is not talking with your mouth full of food.ABC (already been chewed is for 3rd graders)

A roll is not meant to be sliced in half and buttered like spreading mayo on a bologna sandwich. Break off a piece that will fit in your mouth and butter that piece, and repeat.

Please don't be rude to the waiter or waitress...they will most likely spit in your food, or drop something on the floor and put it back on your plate (I know you've seen that movie with the toast and the arm pits).

Chapter Three, Four and Five....we'll save for a later post

I'm CERTAINLY not claiming to be the most well mannered, honest person around, but I certainly wasn't brought up in a barn! Unless you were, please people TRY to remember......Manners Matter, Don't Be A _____!

Does the Fat Lady Ever Really Sing??

Is it ever really over? How many times have you been heart broken from a breakup and then gotten back together? More than once I'm sure. If you care about someone and they are in your life for more than a minute, isn't there a part of you that will always care about them? Is there any way you can still be friends? Sometimes when you fall in love, even if it doesn't work out, you never get over it. I hate to use this example, but I can't help myself.....

What about Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big? Didn't they spend 10 years breaking up and getting back together, only to end up together? They both had other relationships, but they paled in comparison. Something always brought them back to each other.

The worst is when you break up with someone and then you run into them while you're out on a date, or worse THEY ARE! Talk about your stomach falling on the floor!! Boy does that suck.... Sometimes that is exactly what it takes for you to realize how you really feel. You may want them back, or you may realize that it's just not meant to be.

Isn't that what dating is all about? Meeting different people to see which one "fits"? Aren't we all just looking for our "brand"?

For anyone who has ever been in an on again/off again relationship, or thinks there are some things that just are what they are and there's nothing you can do about it. Here's a little true story for you...

A close friend of mine, gets divorced and at the time her kids are 7 and 10. She reconnects with a guy friend from high school who she sort of dated, but it was never anything serious. Anyway, he's never been married, and although they like each other he doesn't think he can be "step daddy" to her two kids. They break up and get back together five or six times, she cries endless tears and is heart broken. What can she do? Get rid of her kids? The situation is what it is, she comes with two kids. In time, he realized that he loved her and as he got to know her kids, he fell in love with them too. They have now been married for 3 years, he is GREAT with her kids and she's pregnant with twins at 45!!! OK, so moral of the story is....YOU NEVER KNOW!!

It's not over till the Fat Lady Sings!!!

Our Love/Hate Relationship With Texting

Everyone's doing it. Spelling does count, and there are hundreds of abbreviations. There are common ones like LOL (laughing my ass off), or TTYL (talk to you later). The stupid ones like ROFLMAO really annoy me. Is anyone really rolling on the floor laughing their ass off?? I mean really. How about *$ (Starbucks) or TAP (take a pill) or WDT (who does that)?

Top 50 Most Popular Text Terms:

2moro - Tomorrow

2nite - Tonight

BRB - Be Right Back

BTW - By The Way

B4N - Bye For Now

BCNU - Be Seeing You

BFF - Best Friends Forever

CYA - Cover Your Ass -or- See Ya

DBEYR - Don't Believe Everything You Read

DILLIGAS - Do I Look Like I Give A Sh**

FUD - Fear, Uncertainty, and Disinformation

FWIW - For What It's Worth

GR8 - Great

ILY - I Love You

IMHO - In My Humble Opinion

IRL - In Real Life

ISO - In Search Of

J/K - Just Kidding

L8R - Later

LMAO - Laughing My Ass Off

LOL - Laughing Out Loud -or- Lots of Love

LYLAS - Love You Like A Sister

MHOTY - My Hat's Off To You

NIMBY - Not In My Back Yard

NP - No Problem -or- Nosy Parents

NUB - New person to a site or game

OIC - Oh, I See

OMG - Oh My God

OT - Off Topic

POV - Point Of View

RBTL - Read Between The Lines

ROTFLMAO - Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off

RT - Real Time

THX or TX or THKS - Thanks

SH - Sh** Happens
SITD - Still In The Dark
SOL - Sh** Out of Luck
STBY - Sucks To Be You
SWAK - Sealed (or Sent) With A Kiss
TFH - Thread From Hell
RTM or RTFM - Read The Manual -or- Read The F***ing Manual
TLC - Tender Loving Care
TMI - Too Much Information
TTYL - Talk To You Later -or- Type To You Later
TYVM - Thank You Very Much
VBG - Very Big Grin
WEG - Wicked Evil Grin
WTF - What The F***
WYWH - Wish You Were Here
XOXO - Hugs and Kisses

Have you ever used most of those? I haven't, and I text everyday. I'm sure your teenage son or daughter uses dozens more abbreviations that you have no clue about, and that's the whole point. There's even PBB which incase you didn't know means parents behind back!! Text messaging has become more prominent than actually talking to the person you're trying to communicate with. Weighing both sides of our relationship with texting.....

Haters say:

1. The frustration of sarcasm, humor and intent getting left in the black hole of text interpretation.

2. If you aren't up on your text abbreviations, you sometimes feel like a moron.

3. Spelling.....don't sound like a dumbass by forgetting to check your spelling

4. Being misunderstood, or misunderstanding the content of the text can cause textguments, and lead to an actual phone call to explain what you were trying to say in the first place.

5. The dreaded "I never got your text" which sometimes happens when you get a phone call while you're typing a text and it goes to drafts instead of being sent and you think the recipient is being a jerk by not responding!

6. It's addicting

Lovers say:

1. What a savior when you don't want to actually talk to the person you have to communicate with.

2. Waiting room at the doctor's office, at work, or anywhere else that's a no cell phones allowed zone.

3. Easier to communicate with your chatty friend when you only have a minute to let her know what time you're meeting her.

4. Sends a lighter message than a actual phone call (works well for dating)

5. Sextexting has evolved into the newest form of cyber sex.

6. It's addicting

Whichever side you're on, I wonder how the next generation will learn to socially interact. At any bar mitzvah today, 13 year olds are texting to the kids sitting across the room, rather than walking over to actually talk to them!!

Better yet are we going to have to go to text rehab for those that truly can't pull themselves away from their cell phones? Hello my name is Lizzie and I'm a textaholic! (hi Lizzie)

I'll b waiting 4 ur text 2 tell me if ur a luvr or a h8r....

The Message Is In The Dial

I was flattered yesterday when a friend of mine who had just jumped back into the "plenty of fish in the sea" dating scene, called me for some advice.  She was curious about the rules of dating (not that I'm an authority)and asked, "Is it ok for me to contact him? How about just a casual text to say hi, or a facebook comment to a recent post he made?"  Or my favorite, that came from another friend, "he asked me to get him some information(on some unimportant topic that he could easily google) do you think it's too soon to email it to him?"  Nice try, really, but No!

I am pretty sure whether you're a venus or a mars you have asked your friends this question at some point.  My answer depends on who's asking, and how good your is he into me radar is. If you're a guy, as long as you're not a stalker, you are pretty much always expected to do the initiating of the contact. I don't think I've ever heard a guy say "Geez, I really wish she would text/call me more often, she just doesn't do it enough".  Have you? Most guys don't sit around waiting for their phone to ring, bleep, buzz, or chime. That's pretty much a chick thing. Unless of course, the guy has reached out to a woman and he's getting the feeling that she's really not that into him.  As far as my friend goes I gave her the unsolicited sometimes insensitive advice my Dad has always so generously offered.

Don't be too available.  This might sound simple but it's definitely not an easy thing to have the will-power to do. When you're a chick and you've been waiting for a guy to call you for three days or some ridiculous amount of time that his friends busted his balls about waiting, you ARE available. When you finally get the long awaited bleep, chirp, or buzz, better to let it go to voicemail, or just don't respond the second you get it (and no, ten minutes is not enough time).  I'm not into games, and I'd rather just do whatever feels comfortable, wouldn't you?  However, until you really know someone well enough, a lot of men don't respond well to that.  Men have a keen sense of your eagerness (almost psychic) and jumping for the phone isn't the best idea.  Also, make sure you have a life.  What I mean is, do yourself a favor and when he asks you out, please please don't respond with "any night that's good for you works".  

Nobody wants what they can have too easily.  Take this one to heart girls, because it couldn't be more dead on accurate (please refer back as to why you shouldn't contact him).  There would be no butterflies in your stomach and there would be no challenge to get in your pants and there would be no wooing (my personal favorite) if this weren't true. What fun would that be? Everyone likes the chase, whether you're the chaser or the chasee. If there isn't some element of intrigue or uncertainty, he's movin' on (specifically if you've only gone out a couple of times). He doesn't need to know that you had anything waxed today, or that you found the boots you were dying for on sale at the mall. Less detail leaves more room for him to use his imagination.  Trust me, he'd love the opportunity to fantasize that the workout class you told him you went to this morning involved a pole.

Everything in Moderation.  Although when this advice was given to me it referred more to drinking, eating dessert, and living on the edge. It holds true when reflecting back to numbers 1 and 2. In regard to number 1, when I said "get a life" I didn't mean that when you do finally get the bleep, buzz or chirp, the guy has to wait till 3 weeks from tuesday for a date.  No one is that busy, that's just a direct blow off, so find a night within the week or so.  As for number 2, playing hard to get is plain old stupid, but so is telling a guy you've only had a few dates with, that your children would be so cute with his big brown eyes and your curly blonde hair!

Lastly, please don't sit around reading into every voicemail and playing it over and over for your friends asking what they thought, or how his voice sounded.  "Do you think he sounds like he's into me?"  What the heck does a voice of someone that really likes you sound like anyway? Someone please tell me.  Rest assured that it makes no difference what his voicemail or text message said. It makes no difference how many times you torture yourself or your friends by playing it over and over.  The message is in the dial. The fact that he contacted you says it all.  Maybe just maybe he really does like you. (By the way, any guy who doesn't appreciate or respond to a woman who sends a quick little text to say hi is definitely not the kinda guy she's meant to be with.) Just be yourself. The only person that has to like you is you. That's why there are no rules. 

OK, there is one exception.  The one rule that I firmly believe in is........ Nothing good ever comes from a drunken dial.  Don't believe me?  Let me know how that works out for you. 

Yeah, the message is definitely in the dial!

The Real Cougars of Man Jewelry City

Last night while out for some drinks with one of my BFFs, we engaged in a little game we like to call "Profiling". The object of the game is to try and figure out what someone's deal is, just by checking out what they're wearing, whether they came alone or with someone, how they're interacting with the people around them, what they do for a living, what number date they're on, you get the idea.  I highly recommend trying it. It's quite amusing especially after a few sweet tea vodka and lemonades.  No one gets hurt, unless of course you slip and fall on the way to the ladies room, and then a whole new game starts called "bar humiliation". It's the one where your friend makes sure everyone in the place heard about your fall incase they hadn't witnessed it. 

Our game of profiling quickly became more like watching a reality tv show called,                                                                                  "The Real Cougars of Man Jewelry City". 

Lets start with the jeweled men.  Most chicks don't dig it. Trust me, you might like it, but it's not about you. My advice would be unless your wife or girlfriend bought it for you as a gift, just say NO to rings, bracelets, and big gold chains when going out to a bar (fyi, a watch is not considered man jewelry). When you're standing at a bar and you approach a woman, incase you didn't know, she's looking at your shoes and she's doing a man jewelry check. One last bit of advice, if you wear a wedding band, and you've been out in the sun for a while, removing it for a night out with the guys, is always a bad idea. Hello cute buff guy sitting behind me, sorry but I'm talking to you, the white band of skin that was under your wedding band while you've been tanning on the beach all summer was one of the highlights of our amusement. Thanks.  

Another favorite are the cougars.  Although a cougar can be any woman at any age with a much younger man, in this case the cougars were in their 50s. These woman are very fun and always up for a good time.  They dance together after having way too many cocktails and they talk to everyone.  This group of women is divided in half. Some are very hip, in awesome shape and know how to make themselves look fabulous with form-fitting boob bursting tops, short skirts and sexy stiletto heels. Sadly the other half are in desperate need of a hair, makeup and wardrobe makeover or as a male friend questioned, "Do they look into the same mirrors that we do?". Aside from updating your look, my best advice to the cougars is simple. If you aren't sure where your teenage daughter is while you're out on the prowl, don't stand outside the bar talking to your fellow cougars or any hot younger men you might be interested in who aren't exactly sure how old you are. You may blow your cover when your daughter happens to be driving by,rolls down her window and yells at the top of her lungs "Maaaaaaahhhhhhhmmmm, what are you doing?".

It's a 14 carat gold jungle out there, be careful not to blow your cover......

Does The Punishment Fit the Crime?

Have you seen this man?  He cheated on his wife, she caught him by snooping through his cell phone, and rather than throw him out she decided to punish him by making him wear this sandwich board on one of the busiest intersections in the D.C. Metropolitan area for a week during rush hour.  When he receives the end of rush hour text message from his wife, he's allowed to stop his public humiliation for the day. (information and photo from Lemondrop.com)

In an online survey of almost 200,000 votes, 55% said it was a fair punishment and the cheater deserves what he gets.  You have to laugh, it is funny.  Does the punishment fit the crime? Is the humiliation his wife feels equal to the humiliation he feels standing out there every morning while hundreds and hundreds of cars pass by laughing at him? I do have to give this guy a lot of credit though, I don't know too many men who have cheated on their wives who would agree to this form of punishment. They'd rather grovel with flowers, jewelry, fancy vacations, or whatever else their wives are longing for.  

What I really want to know, is what Bill Clinton, Elliott Spitzer, or any other cheating official thinks of this guy's punishment. Do you think this sandwich board guy was also forced to resign from his job?  Do his co-workers now feel he's incapable of performing the job he's been doing for the past, I don't know, 10, 20, 30 years?  Don't get me wrong, I'm not in any way condoning cheating!  I just think what a man or woman does behind the curtain, has nothing to do with their performance in front of it (which is why I don't care whether or not Bill Clinton had sex with that woman.  OK he definitely shouldn't have lied, but our economy was certainly booming. Maybe we can bring him and Monica back in three and half years).  By the way ladies, don't fool yourselves, plenty of women cheat too. I'm sure one of your girlfriends has confided in you about an escapade she's had with one of the many men who come to her house to perform a service, I mean fix something.  

I'm thinking sandwich board's wife is on to something. There'd probably be fewer divorces if cheaters were punished in some equally humiliating way.  I like the sandwich board, but how about  a Youtube video apology that gets forwarded to the cheaters entire email address book with a note on the bottom saying if you pass this email on to 10 of your friends, something really wonderful will happen to you.......

I like it.  What do you think?

Turn In Your Broomstick Before You Become A Clunker

Unfortunately some people get married and don’t end up happily ever after.  Something goes wrong along the way, or maybe it was doomed from the start, either way, today divorce is like a Mac, more and more of your friends are getting one.   Whatever the circumstances were that sent you on a search for your pit bull lawyer, whatever horrendously hurtful, awful thing your husband or wife did, tried to do or wanted to do, from the bottom of my heart, I am truly sorry that you were hurt, embarrassed, lied to, cheated on, or made to feel less than.   The first year or point until your divorce is finalized is the hardest, this is when you spend the better part of Saturday night curled up on the bathroom floor crying hysterically because you’re all alone and your kids are with your future ex and you glance at your red nosed puffy faced self in the mirror and that makes you cry even more thinking how awful you look and who the hell would ever want to be with you looking like that?  Unless of course you’re a man and then you’re probably out on a Saturday night with some 22 year old Gossip Girls wannabe that one of your buddies set you up with to “make you feel better”. Therefore, a healthy amount of bashing does not make you look bad, it’s actually understandable and pretty much part of the healing process.  Your friends are there for you and ready to carry fire-lit torches to ‘kill the beast’ at 3am in case his 22 year old mistress has already claimed him as her own.  

Now it’s time for the three little words that you desperately need to hear.  

Get Over It!

Bashing has an expiration date, and if you don’t abide by it, your friends will be sick of hearing about it, and the chances of having your happily ever after become infinitesimally slim.

Turn in your broomstick before you become a clunker. 

clunk⋅er  [kluhng-ker]  

1. something worthless or inferior.

2. Also, klunker. an old, worn-out vehicle or machine.

(ok so you’re not a car but it still makes sense)

Choosing a broomstick as your mode of transportation is repulsive, unless you think the green faced wicked witch from the original Wizard of Oz is attractive (by the way, to this day I can’t watch that movie because the witch and her flying monkeys still give me nightmares).  

Nobody likes a bitter angry spiteful woman, and honestly it makes you look very ugly no matter how physically beautiful you might be.  More importantly, it takes more energy maintaining an ugly bitch persona than it does to be the bigger better person and do the right thing.  What makes matters worse, is the extreme broomstick flying wicked witch of the north, south, east or west that drags the kids into it, or uses them as weapons!

Lastly, flying around on a broomstick is sure to give you a bad case of wind burn which inevitably turns your face into a wrinkled road map and that’s definitely not pretty.

p.s. "Anger/Revenge is like swallowing poison and hoping the other person dies" .......think about it.

Little Head Short-Term, Big Head Long-Term

I recently caught up with a newly divorced single male friend of mine in his early forties.  He was filling me in on his whole "kid in the candy store" dating thing, and all the gorgeous twenty-something women he was dating and how extremely hot yet uncomplicated they were.  However, he claimed he was ready to find a partner and be in a committed relationship blah, blah, blah. He was even trying to tell me that although he already had 2 teenage kids, he'd be willing to start all over again having babies.(I had to walk away from the table so that I didn't spit out the sip of sweet tea vodka and lemonade I just took). I guess he thought bringing your kid to college orientation when you're over 60 might be fun!

Little Head short-term, Big Head long-term. This is the way men are built, they can't help it, and there's really nothing wrong with it if you understand it. What turns a man's head, to look at every set of boobs that walks by, is strictly the little head's reflex. When a man is with a woman that he has a big head connection with, that reflex is still active but may be respectfully sheltered in her presence(or not). Let me break it down for you, choose the term you want long or short, and focus on that head.  As for my male friend, his big and little head better have a conversation and figure out some kind of compromise. I'm thinking he needs to date in the notch below the "hottest of the hot with the smokin' bodies" category and see what happens. He might be shocked to find both a big and little head turn-on can come from the same place!

I think it'll be a while before the light bulb in his big head goes off and he gets it. For now the little head remains far out in front with no sign of a slowdown. I can't help but smile knowing someday when the big head gets the little head to give it a chance,that he'll come back to me and tell me he's ready for my "I told you so" when he's dating a woman that satisfies BOTH heads!!

By the way, the same thing goes for woman. Although we only have one head, we need both big head and little head connection. Unless of course you're a cougar and then the whole theory goes out the window.