How come we give people another chance and another and another and another, even when they never cease to disappoint us? Could be a friend, a family member, a husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, a babysitter, a coworker, just about anyone. Are we just programmed to see the good in people and try to ignore the bad? Or is it that we want them to react a certain way or behave a certain way, and when they don't live up to our expectations, we set ourselves up for disappointment? Is it that some people just aren't capable? Do they just not give a damn if they continue to let you down?
Does their hundredth "I'm sorry", or "I didn't mean to upset you" make it okay? I thought actions spoke louder than words. I've let people down before, who hasn't? I'm certainly not proud of it. I never ever do it intentionally and I always whole heartedly apologize and do whatever I can, not to let it happen again. I hate when people are upset with me, and I do whatever it takes to reassure them and hopefully make them feel better. Especially when it's someone that I genuinely care about.
So why do we hold on to relationships that we know are toxic? You know what I mean. The girlfriend that your husband is always telling you to "lose" because she is constantly causing drama. Or the coworker that promises to tell the boss that the project you are working on together was your idea, and ends up taking full credit for your work? Or the guy you're dating that constantly cancels at the last minute, but is always looking for the after dark booty call?
I could go on and on......
Life is too short, too complicated, and hard enough sometimes. You tell yourself over and over "I'm done" but for some reason you allow the same thing to happen over and over. Is this just human nature? Weakness? Stupidity? Why is it so hard to follow through with what we know isn't right for us?
Of course the more you care about someone the more you make allowances for their hopefully unintentional hurtful behavior. Don't you?
Isn't there a better way? Couldn't you find a less "drama" filled friend? Or talk to your boss about your coworker? Or tell the guy who always cancels to lose your number?
When is Enough Enough?
And to my girlfriend who just had her heart trampled on, that fat lady couldn't have sang any louder!
Love the entry! I'll tell you when enough is enough...when you lose sleep, focus, sanity, appetite, etc. If you can handle a highly dramatic individual with grace, then it can add spark. However, we all know of those toxic people and sitiations that turn your life chaotic. Love, like anything else in life needs proper clarity and boundaries. Bottom line, are you getting your needs met? Are you happier for this person being in your life? Can you communicate and respect one another? If you answer yes, rock on! If they hurt or shame you, lie to you, manipulate to get their OWN needs met, then moooove on!
ReplyDeleteSomeone very wise once said to me, listen to your instict. Life is too short and precious to waste on bullshit from others. I think it's always good to call people out, make your needs and expectations clear and if they don't reciprocate. Fade away with grace...
Hope this clarifies and brings new insight.
Thanks GeorgiaPeach....LOVED your comment!
ReplyDelete